Intention
I wrote this entry nearly two months ago; just before the 13 month anniversary of Jessica’s death. At that time, I felt pretty good about where I was in the grief process. In the past three weeks the Corona virus has impacted the lives of all Americans but was global even then. I think this post is more relevant now as we all experience the uncertainty and changes grief imposes.
When I began writing this blog last year, my intention was to share what I was learning in my grief process. Inevitably, everyone experiences loss whether it is a job, pet or a loved one. I wanted to learn all I could to help myself survive and also share what I was learning with others. Here are a few nuggets:
Grief is more exhausting than I anticipated. There is so much work that comes after death, like planning the service and calling the insurance company, cancelling credit cards, etc. The list is long. One way I got through the early days was to take many breaks. Sometimes I would set a timer and make myself do one thing until the timer went off. Other times I would rest until the timer went off and then commit to beginning or working on a project.
The sharp edges do soften over time and yet, more than a year later, I am still surprised at what can bring on a “love burst” where I find myself in uncontrollable tears. As much as I want to remember Jessica with more joy than sadness, there are times I just get angry that she is not here. Thus the five stages of grief (Elizabeth Kubler Ross) that are not linear. Life moves forward.
People come into our lives for a reason or a season. Relationships do change after the death of a loved one. People drift apart and others step forward. My greatest advice to anyone wanting to be a support for someone experiencing loss is to keep reaching out. For those amazing people who have stepped forward, I am eternally grateful.
To be continued……..
