Woman Tours Cycling trip

November 2019

I recently had the good fortune to join a group of women for a bike tour of the Mohave Desert. I considered this my own personalized “vision quest” or rite of passage. After this year of grieving the loss of our daughter, I have been hungry for a different type of adventure. There are three main ingredients commonly included in a vision quest; fasting, solitude and nature. Here is my version…..

I definitely didn’t fast! The food was pretty amazing. Those who know me know how much I enjoy eating so I was very happy with the choices and amounts of food available during the long periods of riding as well as the meals before and after our rides.

Solitude applied at various times. I chose a single option so I wasn’t sharing a hotel room. Since I am not a good sleeper, I didn’t want to disrupt anyone else’s sleep. There were periods during our rides that allowed me to feel alone, although I truly wasn’t. A guide was always at the end of the pack to “sweep”, making sure we were alright.

Nature was all around me as we rode on paved bike paths and a few public roads in Red Rock Canyon, the Valley of Fire and other trails outside of Las Vegas. While I pedaled up steep hills and glided down steep descents, I made some interesting connections between this trip and the ebb and flow of life.

In reflecting, I realized that riding a bike in this terrain was much like life after loss. First, I had difficulty with my GPS app. Using my map and cue sheets was unfamiliar. I related that to this journey in that there really is no map for getting through it. Just the act of pedaling whether it was slowly or fast, I was moving forward. If I had to get off the bike to walk up a hill, I was still moving forward. There were some steep hills that, to me, felt really hard. Like this past year, there have been moments, days and sometimes weeks where things have just felt so hard. I got through them. But there were also those long descents where I was not pedaling or expending much energy. There have been moments over the past months, even if I had to purposely build them in, where I could rest and catch my breath.

I can now check bike touring off my bucket list, though I suspect there is more cycling in my future. Gratefully, I was strong and healthy enough to complete 113 of the 192 miles available to ride throughout the week. There was a van to pick me up when I felt I couldn’t go any further. Like in life, I lost my way a few times. Though grief can feel isolating, I know I am not alone. There were riders up ahead who had been where I was. There were others behind me, at other times, who would catch up to me. All in all I managed to find my own way. Just like this past year with the help of family, friends and good therapy, I am finding my own way forward.