As the second anniversary of Jessica’s death approaches, I notice a shift in my emotional being. Though 2020 has been a tough year, grief aside, life is pretty good. Maybe even better than “pretty good”.

Many of you know that I took over Jessica’s position in our family construction business. I spent a lot of time being angry about that which made me miss her more. I often felt like I wasn’t doing “her” job well enough. I sat in her seat in front of her computer. Eventually I began to feel her with me more and more as I created a new work space that was different from her space and yet more like my own.

During this second holiday season without her, I have such gratitude. I am healthy. My loved ones are healthy. I can’t help but remember what things were like at this time in 2018 and how close we were to her leaving us. Yet in that knowing, is the realization that our lives (mine for sure) were not sustainable that way. It has taken this long to find peace in that. There have been so many blessings along this journey.

As we celebrate this year amid so much Covid induced change, I feel more of my mojo (magic) returning.