A Comforting Hug

Recently I bumped into a friend I hadn't seen since last Fall. She immediately wrapped me in her arms and gave me a most comforting hug.  Low and behold, I didn't lose it right there in the grocery aisle.  The grocery store is often a trigger for me, as well as many other public places lately.  I am choosing not to stop going out in public, but if there is a way to be better prepared for meeting folks who want to acknowledge our loss, I am all in.

I realize this is a tricky time.  News travels fast and sometimes we don't know what to say to someone who has had a devastating loss such as ours.  I have found that on my better days, it is easier for me to comfort others rather than have them comfort me.  Grief is unpredictable at best and I find I really prefer things that are predictable.  So there is a lot of room for personal growth here.   Though I would rather be the supporter, I find myself needing to accept that people are going to stop me and offer their condolences.  I want that.  Even if there are no words to say to me, a hug does help.

I remember when my good friend was grieving the loss of her daughter.  I didn't know what to say so I went longer than I should have without saying anything to her.  This was my bad.  In my ignorance, saying nothing was not helping either of us.  I can see that now.  This friend has been a great support for me over the past year as we watched Jessica go through and then ultimately discontinue her cancer treatment.  We have cried together many times, but we have also laughed.  Though this process of grief can bring on many emotions, what I want most to remember from it all is love; love for Jessica and love for each other.  So if you happen to bump into me out in public and you don't know what to say to me, hugs are welcome.